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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623453">heroes, be bold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeelions/pseuds/coffeelions'>coffeelions</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! GX</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Feelings and Lots of 'em, Getting Together, M/M, Mention of Death (season 3? season 3.), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Talking Around Their Trauma, Until They Cannot, tics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:40:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeelions/pseuds/coffeelions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The honking of cars in rush hour traffic, the pedestrians chatting as they walk by, the city buzz that's nearly tangible underneath his skin—it's almost enough to distract him from the fact it's been seven months since he's seen Aster, and absolutely never since they’ve talked about a single trauma they’ve shared. </p>
<p> <br/>A story about reconnecting, catching feelings, and actually talking about things that should have been talked about months ago.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edo Phoenix | Aster Phoenix/Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki, Yubel &amp; Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What starts it all is a billboard. Aster Phoenix's smirking face is plastered over it, the date of a Pro League tournament printed in bright red letters.</p>
<p>It's a quiet thing, starting in his chest with curiosity over how he's been. He doesn't even <i>have</i> Aster's number.</p>
<p>He messages Chazz for it as casually as he can. Climbs up the roof where the billboard stands, because he wants to get closer. He's glad it's nighttime, because otherwise he'd probably get stopped.</p>
<p><b>Chazz:</b><br/>
don't tell him it was me if it's for something stupid</p>
<p>He sends a thumbs up and gets a thumbs down in return. He’s tempted to keep going to annoy him, but stops there. Tells himself to stop stalling and just open a new chat.</p>
<p>The last time he spoke to Aster was in March. Even then, only for a moment or two, back when Aster and Chazz had that duel at the Academy.</p>
<p>It was now <i>August</i>.  </p>
<p>Anxiety flares in his stomach, but then he remembers Exodia and spread-out arms protecting him with his whole being.</p>
<p>Despite everything, his love for his friends will triumph over any weakness.</p>
<p>He pushes on, but runs straight into another roadblock as he stares at his phone. He doesn't know what to message first. </p>
<p>Usually world-ending threats were his go-to conversation starter.</p>
<p>He flounders over it as Pharaoh and Winged Kuriboh chase each other. With each second, his anxiety grows. What if Aster gets annoyed by it? Or worse, what if he ignores it entirely because he's just that unimportant?</p>
<p>"Stop thinking so hard," Yubel says, curling their arms around him from behind to lay their chin on his shoulder. "I'll message him for you if you want, but I don't promise to be nice."</p>
<p>He pushes at their face and they push him back. "You suck," he says and they snort.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah."</p>
<p>In the end, he sends a picture. It's embarrassing to summon Avian for such a silly reason, but he just ruffles his hair affectionately. He poses in front of the billboard, throwing up a peace sign and a grin as his picture is taken. </p>
<p>He takes a breath, then sends a message with it attached.</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
dare me to draw on this with sharpie?</p>
<p>The answer comes five minutes later, just when he's decided to dig around in his bag for his marker.</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
tracking your location, leave my face alone</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
where even is this, that tournament was a month ago. pro league is slacking</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
call me right now jaden yuki, i need to make sure you're not defouling my image</p>
<p>He swallows hard, reading the messages over and over. A call? He looks back at the giant image of Aster, cool and calm and confidently looking at him. <i>Pay attention to me</i>, he commands and, well.</p>
<p>Like that's ever been hard.</p>
<p>He presses call.</p>
<p>When Aster picks up, he sounds so amused and full of life as he says, "I have a duel in five minutes, so if you're going to defoul, do it quick."</p>
<p>"Already drawing an eyepatch," he says, biting off the marker cap and spitting it out so he doesn't have to let go of the phone. Pharaoh immediately goes to play with it, but Banner is supervising so it's okay. "Any requests?"</p>
<p>"Pirate hat or bust, bro."</p>
<p>"That's literally gonna kill my marker if I do that," he says, a smile tugging at his lips so easily. "Choose something else."</p>
<p>"Fine, give me a crown. Less cool, but since you apparently don't care about our friendship—"</p>
<p>"Oh my God," he says.</p>
<p>"—I guess I'll have to settle with just a crown."</p>
<p>"You're so dramatic," he says, but he's laughing, too. "I'll draw your stupid pirate hat, but you owe me a new marker."</p>
<p>"First you won't even draw the hat, and now you're calling it stupid—"</p>
<p>"<i>Aster</i>," he says and there's a huff of laughter on the other end.</p>
<p>"<i>Jay</i>," Aster says back teasingly. He has to bite his cheek to keep from smiling so hard. Still Jay. That was more relieving than anything else he's said so far.</p>
<p>In a blink of an eye, five minutes turns to ten turns to thirty.</p>
<p>"Didn't you have a duel to catch?" he asks when he realizes the time. He tilts his phone to snap a shot of his work.</p>
<p>"Yeah, well, I haven't spoken to you in months."</p>
<p>For a second, he wonders if they're going to address any of it—The Light of Destruction and satellite lasers, alternate dimensions and blood-stained hands, the months of silence and the end of the universe.</p>
<p>The moment passes. They both breathe.</p>
<p>"I missed you," he says, and it feels easy.</p>
<p>"I missed you, too."</p>
<p>He smiles into the phone, warmth settling in his stomach. He sends the picture as the morning sun starts to rise.</p>
<p>In all his glory, billboard Aster wears an eyepatch with a pirate hat, and he huffs a laugh as he looks at the patchy spots. His sharpie may be dead, but it was pretty worth it. With the last of its life, he even attempted to draw five Pot of Greeds on the duel disk Aster wears, but he got lazy towards the end and it’s just balls of squiggles at this point.</p>
<p>He knows Aster receives it when bright and wheezing laughter reaches his ears. By the time he hangs up, he feels infinitely lighter. He smiles long after the call is over and, looking back:</p>
<p>This is where it starts.</p><hr/>
<p>"Sooo, who you texting?"</p>
<p>Jesse is feeding Ruby with his fries when he looks up. They were both getting lunch before they had to get on their planes. Pegasus had requested their help here in England and insisted on paying for their trips home. Or wherever they wanted, in his case.</p>
<p>He winces as he realizes he's been ignoring Jesse for his phone for the past five minutes.</p>
<p>"Sorry," he says and Jesse waves him off with a fry. "Aster was asking if the Industrial Illusions' factory explosion had anything to do with me, since I told him I was here."</p>
<p>Jesse grins, propping an elbow on the table. "Did you tell him it was totally your fault?"</p>
<p>"Pegasus said it was okay!" His phone vibrates and he glances down at it.</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
lmao only you, jay</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
you're fine though?</p>
<p>He smiles at the concern and sends back an affirmative.</p>
<p>It's been a month since they've started talking again. A whole month of texts and calls and selfies and photos. It's great in a way that he hadn't expected.</p>
<p>In all honesty, he didn't know they <i>could</i> be friends without Duel Monsters at the heart of their interactions.</p>
<p>It was an incredibly unfair thought. But, when he voices it one call, Aster agrees.</p>
<p>"If you tried to be friends with me before the whole," Aster trails off. "Well, you know. I don't think it would've stuck."</p>
<p>"What changed?"</p>
<p>"I died." There's a laugh, like it's an inside joke between friends.</p>
<p>He doesn't know how to feel about it. </p>
<p>"I guess for me," Aster says, "things that didn't feel possible before feel possible now."</p>
<p>He thinks about Yubel and his friends, wanting to die and wanting to live, having no purpose and finding his own.</p>
<p>He thinks about being happy.</p>
<p>He thinks about Aster.</p>
<p>"I think you're right."</p>
<p>Humming reaches his ears and he looks back up at Jesse. He's wearing a smile that's a little <i>too</i> big.</p>
<p>He narrows his eyes. "What's with the face?"</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" Jesse asks, but he's still making said-face.</p>
<p>"<i>Jess</i>," he says warningly and Jesse just guffaws at him.</p>
<p>"Nothing, nothing!" He pushes the fries back over to him like a peace offering, which it would be, if he hadn't bought the fries in the first place.</p>
<p>"By the way," he says, "you're heading to Australia to visit Jim, right?"</p>
<p>"Axel's coming, too," he says, letting him change the subject as he takes a handful of fries. He can keep his secrets. “You know you’re invited, right?”</p>
<p>“Aw, I know, Jay,” Jesse says with a smile. “Next time though, my cousins want me to visit.”</p>
<p>“Guess you’re gonna miss out,” he says. “Jim wants to show me his hometown.”</p>
<p>"Axel's been before?"</p>
<p>"I think so." He swallows his fries. "I'm pretty sure they're dating. Like, fifty percent sure. Seventy-five."</p>
<p>"Then they must be," Jesse says. He looks fond. "You take forever to notice things like that, Jay."</p>
<p>"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, lightly aiming a kick at Jesse's shin, careful not to clip Amethyst Cat from where she's resting. Gets a kick back in response.</p>
<p>"You know, it's just that sometimes," he drawls, "you miss things that are right in front of you."</p>
<p>He's about to retort, but his phone vibrates again. It's a selfie of Aster raising a brow, gesturing at a TV showing the factory in shambles.</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
shmaden shmuki strikes again</p>
<p>He bites his lip, laughter bubbling in his chest. He saves the picture so he can look at it again later.</p>
<p>He can hear Jesse giggle and say to Ruby, "How long do you think it'll be until he notices, girl?"</p>
<p>Ruby coos back.</p>
<p>He ignores them both.</p><hr/>
<p>"Holy shit," he says days later. A day-long hike up a mountain wasn't so ideal, but with Jim and Axel it was just so peaceful.</p>
<p>What really gets him now, more than the probable dehydration and the chilly Australian wind, is the view from the top. Trees span far and wide, vast and green and majestic in the last few rays of sunshine.</p>
<p>"Pretty, ain't it?" Jim says with a toothy grin. Axel is setting up their fire for the night, but Jim pulls him up by the hand to lead him over.</p>
<p>"It's awesome," he says. He can't tear his eyes away. He's breathless, and not from the hiking. "You and Shirley just <i>live</i> here?"</p>
<p>"I know, right?" Jim slings an arm around Axel's shoulders.</p>
<p>"I love coming here to hike," Axel says. He looks so relaxed. He's glad.</p>
<p>"Just to hike?" Jim asks and Axel shoves him.</p>
<p>"Gross," he says, but he's smiling.</p>
<p>They're good together. He doesn't know anyone who deserves to relax more than these two.</p>
<p>Actually, now that he thinks about it.</p>
<p>He takes his phone out, squinting as he tries to figure out a good angle. This amazing sunset view might even be enough to calm the biggest workaholic he knows.</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
(australian accent) pretty ain't it</p>
<p>Before he clicks his phone off, he turns to his friends and grins. "Let's take a picture of us before the sun sets."</p>
<p>Burstinatrix is summoned for this one, with Avian at her shoulder murmuring instructions on how to use the phone.</p>
<p>Jim settles his arms around Jaden and Axel as they stand in front of the view with smiles on their faces. They take another one when Shirley and Pharaoh want in as well.</p>
<p>It becomes his new phone background.</p>
<p>It's nightfall when they get the fire going for their sleepover under the stars. He's passed a packed dinner Jim had prepared for them all when Aster messages back.</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
duuude wtf</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
wish i was there</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
wish you were here too</p>
<p>His fingers press send before his mind really processes it. Should he feel embarrassed? Is this something to be embarrassed by?</p>
<p>"Jay," Axel calls and he decides not to dwell on it. "Wanna come with me to Texas in a few days? I have an assignment over there and could use your expertise."</p>
<p>"My expertise," he repeats and Axel flicks a rice grain at him.</p>
<p>"I could use your superpowers, yes."</p>
<p>"Interpol's messaging you already?" Jim asks, leaning over to read over Axel's shoulder. "You got here yesterday."</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's not urgent though. Just something I have to check out when I'm back." Axel taps his screen off so he can focus on his food. "Duel Spirit fluctuations apparently. What do you think, Jay?"</p>
<p>"I'm down, as long as they pay for my ticket," he says. He adds with a grin, "When are they going to add me to their Duel Monsters division?"</p>
<p>Axel snorts. "You're the one who refused."</p>
<p>He thinks about it sometimes, but he knows in his heart it's not meant to be. There's something in him that refuses to make money helping people and Duel Monsters alike. Not that he would ever judge anyone for it, especially Axel. It's just—</p>
<p>He has a lot to atone for. Being paid for it would only make it feel <i>wrong</i>.</p>
<p>Maybe sometime in the future he'll accept a job with Interpol or Pegasus or even KaibaCorp, to have more resources to help people. So far though, he’s doing fine. And, when he thinks about the people who slip through the cracks—the children, the lost, the lonely—he knows he's doing what's right.</p>
<p>Shirley bumps her snout against his knee and he pats her in appreciation. He glances around for Pharaoh and catches him asleep in his sleeping bag. When his hands are free, he'll take a picture for Blair.</p>
<p>"If we're heading to the US, I think I'll visit Alexis up in New York," he says after they eat and wash up. It's already September, so he wants to visit her before her courseload really gets heavy.</p>
<p>He's seen pictures of it. He doesn't miss school at all.</p>
<p>He opens his texts to message her, and ends up hovering over Aster's name for a second.</p>
<p>"Have you thought of visiting Aster?" Jim asks and he swings around to narrow his eyes at him.</p>
<p>"Why?" he asks, instantly suspicious because that was <i>exactly</i> what he was thinking about, but Jim shouldn't know that.</p>
<p>He merely chuckles at him. "You were on a call with him for an hour straight last night."</p>
<p>He presses his lips together. "So what?"</p>
<p>Jim and Axel share a look and he feels a little annoyed by it. Jim must see it on his face, because he scoots over to press their shoulders together.</p>
<p>"I didn't mean to make fun," Jim says kindly and he instantly forgives him. It's hard not to. "Tell me what's going through your mind, Jay."</p>
<p>"It's complicated," he says, keeping his eyes on the fire as Axel settles beside him, too.</p>
<p>"Nothing we can't handle," Axel says. "We’re the definition of complicated."</p>
<p>He can't help a smile. "Got me there."</p>
<p>Jim and Axel wait for him quietly and he can't stall any longer. He scrubs a hand over his face.</p>
<p>"I never checked in on him after everything that happened," comes tumbling out. It feels good to voice it, when it's something he and Aster never talk about. When they don’t talk about any of it. "I feel," he breathes, "guilty."</p>
<p>"You've been talking to him a lot because you feel guilty?" Axel asks, and there's no judgment on his face, but it feels a little like he was punched in the stomach.</p>
<p>"No, that's not it at all!" Before he can really get himself worked up, because oh God what if Aster thinks that <i>too</i>, Axel is putting an arm around him, grounding him. </p>
<p>His head suddenly jerks and he curses his tics. Axel just squeezes him gently.</p>
<p>"It's okay, Jay. I believe you, promise."</p>
<p>He sighs, letting his shoulders fall. Jim takes his hand and breathes loudly with him. It helps.</p>
<p>"I think I might be too scared to see him," he admits quietly. They were both always travelling, it's not like it would be hard to plan a meet-up. It shouldn't be hard.</p>
<p>"Why are you scared?" Jim asks.</p>
<p>He can’t escape the gnawing <i>need</i> to punch his leg. Does it hard with the hand not holding Jim’s. Neither of his friends draw attention to it or frown and he appreciates it. </p>
<p>"I wasn't there for him," he says, all in a rush. "I didn't even—I didn't check in on him, even though I checked in with you guys and Jesse and Zane. I checked in with everyone who," he fumbles with the word <i>died</i>, "but somehow I didn't with him." </p>
<p>There’s more to it, there’s even more he’s scared of, but he doesn’t know how to explain.</p>
<p>"What if he's angry with me for not even trying?" he asks instead.</p>
<p>"I don't know him as well as you do," Axel says slowly, "but he really doesn't seem like the type to hold that against anyone. Life happens and you can't always be there for someone when you need to be there for yourself more."</p>
<p>He thinks about the fact he was able to stay in contact with Axel and Jim and Jesse despite the fact they were all on different continents. When he voices this, Axel shakes his head.</p>
<p>"Think about it from the other side, Jay," he says. "He never checked in on you."</p>
<p>"I'm not mad at him for that," he says, defensive, and Jim points out:</p>
<p>"So why would he be mad at you?"</p>
<p>He pauses. He's never looked at it that way before.</p>
<p>"I guess I'm mad at me," he says. </p>
<p>Even now, he thinks about asking Aster “<i>how are you?</i>” but really meaning: “<i>What nightmares do you have? What fears and worries stem from my mistakes? What are you feeling, Aster, because I can’t read you over texts and calls and maybe I never will</i>.”</p>
<p>Thinks about his cowardice in expecting it to translate at all.</p>
<p>He leans against Axel’s shoulder. “We still don’t talk about any of it. Everything that happened, everything that didn’t.” He swallows. “He doesn’t even know about Yubel.”</p>
<p>"Then I think you should both see each other face-to-face," Jim says matter-of-factly. "If it's too hard over the phone, talk to him about it all in person."</p>
<p>He hums, stroking Shirley's head as she huffs at him in agreement.</p>
<p>"Sometimes things are simple," Jim says. "If you want to see him, just ask him." He smiles at him reassuringly. "You deserve simple, Jay."</p>
<p>He gives Jim a hug and, after a moment, drags Axel in, too.</p>
<p>What exactly does he deserve?</p><hr/>
<p>It's a few days later when he says screw it and calls. Except, as soon as he hears Aster's voice, he forgets all about his worries—including asking if they can meet up.</p>
<p>They have to be on call for at least twenty minutes, because Axel is raising a brow at him from where he and Jim are waiting in the car.</p>
<p>"Axel is glaring, so I gotta go," he says, loud enough for Axel to hear, and receives a middle finger.</p>
<p>"Have a fun plane ride," Aster says and he can hear his smirk through the phone. He knows the flight is going to be over twenty hours, the ass. "Jet lag is going to be killer on you when you land."</p>
<p>"Ha ha," he says. Can't help smiling regardless. "See you, Aster." </p>
<p>It's only after he hangs up that he realizes he didn't ask. At all. Jim and Axel take one look at him and laugh.</p>
<p>"Five minutes," Axel gives him. "Hurry it up this time, because I'm going to have to break the speed limit to make our flight."</p>
<p>He wanders away from his friends, sticking out a tongue. He'll take six minutes, just to be petty.</p>
<p>His fingers hover over the call button once again. He bites his cheek. It's not like he <i>has</i> to call Aster about it, a text would do. That's what he did for Alexis.</p>
<p>It's just, his anxiety will shoot through the roof if he has to wait for a text back, and he has enough of it that he'd really rather do without.</p>
<p>He decidedly does not think about killing and dying and Super Polymerizations and what’s okay to talk about anymore. He doesn’t think about it all.</p>
<p>He just hung up with him though, what if he was busy now? In the end, he knows himself well enough that if he doesn’t ask now, he would put it off for weeks. Months.</p>
<p>Looking at the months of silence that have passed already, he knows he can’t do it again.</p>
<p>He presses it quick. Like that would make his hands shake less. The call screen flashes in his face like a warning. Like a beacon.</p>
<p>He feels like throwing up a little.</p>
<p>After the second ring and just as many heartbeats, Aster's voice comes through almost too fast. "Jay?"</p>
<p>Before he can lose his nerve, he asks, "What are your travel plans like in the next few weeks?"</p>
<p>There's a loaded silence on the line, and the longer it goes on, the more he wishes it would shoot him in the face so he wouldn't have to die of humiliation. If Aster doesn't want to see him, he'll say so, and wouldn't that just ruin his <i>week</i>—</p>
<p>"Are you coming to see me, Jay?" Aster asks; his voice is breathless. He hopes it's a good thing.</p>
<p>"I want to," he says loudly and winces, softening his voice. "Yeah, if it's possible."</p>
<p>"When has anything been impossible for you?" Before he can figure out what <i>that means</i>, Aster is humming under his breath. It's tinny through the line, but it makes him relax. Not mad then. Not saying <i>no</i>.</p>
<p>"How do you feel about cold weather?" Aster asks, and honestly?</p>
<p>"I guess we'll find out," he says. Aster's responding laughter fills his chest with warmth.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy GX Month, folks! I rewatched GX recently and rediscovered how much I care for Aster and Jaden, so I'm taking you all along with me on this post-canon get-together fic &lt;3 Hit me up @coffeelions on tumblr, and see you soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Turns out, there's an Industrial Illusions’ Charity Ball in Canada that Aster will be attending. He looks up how to get from New York City to Toronto, and it's only a couple of trains. If he times it right, it's not even that expensive.</p>
<p>Six minutes later, Axel pulls him by the ear and into the car. Aster's laughter rings loud, even when Axel takes the phone and tells him he hopes he's doing well, but they're incredibly late and it's all his fault.</p>
<p>"Bye Jay!" echoes from the phone and, with that, Jim takes the wheel.</p>
<p>"What happens next is on you," Axel says to him, and before he can ask what <em>that</em> means, Jim floors it.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh God, oh God, <strong>oh God.</strong></em>
</p>
<p>They make it to boarding right on time. It's terrifying. He's never getting in a car with Jim ever again.</p>
<p>As soon as he doesn’t feel like he’s going to throw up everything he’s ever eaten, it hits him. Two weeks until he sees Aster again. It feels simultaneously like too much time and no time at all.</p>
<p>He can't keep the grin off his face—even during the hated twenty hour flight to Dallas, Texas; even when Axel keeps shooting him amused looks; even when he thinks about how much needs to be addressed and acknowledged and God, he's known Aster for years now, when will it feel like it?</p>
<p>His grin falters, but Yubel's presence is soothing like a hug around him. It helps, but he can't help but think, <em>yet another thing to be addressed</em>.</p>
<p>It's a good thing he and Axel have to hit the ground running as soon as they land, because nothing kills overthinking like investigating irregular Duel Monster sightings.</p>
<p><em>All Duel Monster sightings are irregular</em>, Yubel points out and he really wants to say something sarcastic back. Before he can, Yubel takes control of his limbs to tackle Axel out of the way of a speeding truck.</p>
<p>That's being driven by an Axe Raider.</p>
<p>Oh fun.</p>
<p>"No rest for the wicked," Axel sighs out. He helps him up and they look down the road with twin looks of determination.</p>
<p>Time to get to work.</p><hr/>
<p>A week later, they're finally able to collapse in a motel room and sleep for twenty-four hours.</p>
<p>It's a long story but, in the end, they were able to dismantle a cult worshipping a woman with the ability to summon Duel Monsters in the real world.</p>
<p>She was nice. When they handed her over to Interpol, she even thanked them. All in all, not the worst time he's ever had.</p>
<p>"No one died at least," Axel says.</p>
<p>"You're not the one who got injured," he says, rubbing at his nose. Just because she was nice doesn't mean she didn't elbow him in the face when he sneaked up on her.</p>
<p>"Eh," Axel says with a shrug. "Kept you quiet."</p>
<p>He has the worst friends.</p>
<p>He rolls over and checks his phone. There's a missed call from Alexis, because he’s supposed to be in New York tomorrow, but there's no way he's <em>not</em> visiting Space Center Houston while he's here.</p>
<p>(He and his Neo-Spacians are excited for it. Yubel less so. He sends reassurance toward them and they wave it off. If they really had a problem with it, he wouldn't go.)</p>
<p>He has a few unread texts from the past few days, and he means to start from the oldest, but he sees Aster's name among them and presses it instantly.</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
i'm literally gonna die</p>
<p>He can feel Yubel push his panic down so he can continue scrolling.</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
why are kids so cute??? i'm gonna adopt her</p>
<p>There's a picture attached and he nearly drops his phone on his face when he opens it. Aster is kneeling beside a girl who couldn't be more than five, both of them smiling at the camera. In her hands, she holds a drawing of what must be Aster and really, <em>really</em>, it's entirely too cute. His heart can't handle it.</p>
<p>"Jay, turn your smile off. I'm going to go blind."</p>
<p>He sticks his tongue out at Axel. "You're just jealous because you don't get cute pictures from your friends."</p>
<p>Axel merely raises a brow. He taps through his phone before holding it up.</p>
<p>It's a picture of Shirley playing in water.</p>
<p>"Touché."</p><hr/>
<p>He's days later than he said he would be, but Alexis still greets him with a hug when she picks him up from the airport.</p>
<p>(Houston Space Center being haunted by an ancient alien card didn't necessarily surprise him, but the amount of politics involved with getting it removed and sent back up was headache-inducing. KaibaCorp was now involved though, so he trusts them enough to get it done.</p>
<p>Yubel snorts.</p>
<p><em>You're an outlier and don't count</em>, he thinks. Even so, he sends them as much love as he can imagine. Feels them send their own back.)</p>
<p>He's just getting out of the taxi with Alexis when he gets a text from Aster.</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
aliens don't exist</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
shut your goddamn mouth</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
&lt;3</p>
<p>He fumbles with his phone, blinking at the emoticon. He can’t help the smile growing on his face, just like he can’t help sending a heart emoticon back. </p>
<p>He may have stared at his phone with a goofy grin for far longer than he cares to admit.</p>
<p><em>Five whole minutes</em>, Yubel admits for him gleefully and he takes his love back, he hates them.</p>
<p>Tired of waiting around, Alexis drags him out of his thoughts and along with her to tour her college, talking at length about her classes.</p>
<p>"And," she adds, flashing him a grin, "I haven't had any world-ending nonsense happen, so that's a plus."</p>
<p>"Sounds boring," he says and she laughs.</p>
<p>"Maybe a little."</p>
<p>They go classroom by classroom and she's absolutely glowing as she talks about her Duel History lectures. He can't help pointing out, "Learning suits you, Lex."</p>
<p>She pauses to give him a searching look. Then, she smiles, warm and sincere. "Thanks, Jay."</p>
<p>They wander through the rest of the college. She promises to show him the Duel Courts the next day, because there's a class scheduled for the whole afternoon. As they pass, he notices a bunch of framed portraits of successful Duelists. Yugi Muto, Seto Kaiba, a bunch of early-gen Duelists—all recognizable names and faces.</p>
<p>Winged Kuriboh coos over the portrait of Yugi, looking so happy that he can't help patting the little guy on the head. He looks over the whole wall of portraits, wondering.</p>
<p>"Holy shit," he says, as soon as he spots it. "Lex, come over here, we're taking a selfie."</p>
<p>She laughs as they pull in together under the portrait of Aster. He's grinning as he texts him:</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
bro you're pretty famous!</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
i'm one of the top duelists in the entire world but yeah, we can go with pretty famous</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
ass :P</p>
<p>When he looks back up, Alexis is watching him pensively.</p>
<p>"What's up?" he asks.</p>
<p>"You look happier, Jay. I'm glad." She smiles and continues walking down the hall.</p>
<p>It feels like there's more to it, but she's always been unafraid to say what's on her mind. He envies that about her, hopes it rubs off on him during this visit. He's seeing Aster in a couple of days, after all.</p>
<p>He jogs to catch up, nudging his shoulder against hers.</p>
<p>He needs all the luck he can get.</p><hr/>
<p>"Oh shit, I need a new battery pack," he says and Alexis looks up from her bubble tea to raise an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"Did you break it already?" she asks, looking so utterly unsurprised that he feels offended.</p>
<p>"It's totally fine," he says, because she bought that for him as a graduation present, it’d be embarrassing if he broke it so soon. Alexis raises her brow higher. "Stop that, it's intimidating."</p>
<p>"Good."</p>
<p><em>Remember when she used to be cute and nice?</em> he complains.</p>
<p>
  <em>My first memory of her is when she slapped you in the face, so no, not really.</em>
</p>
<p>He rolls his eyes. "Anyway, it's not broken. I just always use it and it's not enough. I've had my phone die on me a couple of times, because I don't have anywhere to recharge."</p>
<p>"Here, pass your phone. Let me see if anything's draining your battery." He passes it over to her, taking the time to stretch his arms above his head.</p>
<p>A couple more days until he's supposed to meet up with Aster. He'll head out in the morning for his train to Niagara Falls, stay the night, then take the train to Toronto. He'll probably be there on time. </p>
<p>He and Aster both still had to figure out the logistics of how long they're staying, but Aster already booked a hotel room, so the important part is settled. He's fine with just going with the flow for the rest of it. </p>
<p>Knows if he starts thinking about how to address everything that’s been left unsaid, he’ll probably freak out right here and now.</p>
<p>There's a snort and he looks back over at Alexis. "What's so funny?" he asks, already leaning over to see his screen.</p>
<p>She gives him a smile. "You sure call a lot. Is that why you run out of charge so much?"</p>
<p>"I mean, maybe?" She passes his phone back and he scrolls through his call history. "I swear I don't even call people that much. Like, the only person I call regularly is Aster."</p>
<p>"Oh?" she asks, and there's a warble in her voice that is so reminiscent of their school days that he settles her with a look.</p>
<p>"That's your 'you're saying something really funny but in a dumb way' voice." Alexis cracks up and he pushes at her shoulder. "<em>Lex</em>."</p>
<p>"Stop calling Aster for hour-long calls if you don't have anywhere to charge, Jay," she says and they do <em>not</em> have hour-long calls.</p>
<p>He looks at the time duration on his calls and—okay.</p>
<p>"I'm buying a new battery pack," he declares and she laughs at him. Laughs even louder when Pharaoh popping his head out of his bag startles him enough that he has to dive for his phone.</p>
<p>He hates his friends.</p><hr/>
<p>He <em>loves</em> his friends and makes sure to tell Alexis so, because she buys him the battery pack without missing a beat.</p>
<p>"Get me Aster's autograph when you see him and we'll call it even," she says. He opens his mouth and she glares. "No questions asked."</p>
<p>He raises his hands in a sign of peace. No clue why she can't ask him herself, but he's learned to let Alexis act as cool as she thinks she is.</p>
<p>(Cyber Tutu tells him hush-hush that Alexis has been keeping a folder of Duelist autographs ever since she was a little kid. It's motivation for herself, and honestly it's the cutest thing he's ever heard about her.)</p>
<p>Alexis gives him a hard look, because he can't keep his smile to himself. "Alright, which monster snitched on me?"</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" he asks, like a liar, and the stern frown she wears already reminds him of Crowler. "Are you sure you need to learn how to be a teacher? You're already treating me like a student," he complains and her frown breaks into a smile.</p>
<p>"Glad I'm getting practice in," she says and he pouts at her. Pouts even more when she drops him off at the train station with, "Don't get into trouble."</p>
<p>"Who do you think I am?"</p>
<p>"<em>Exactly</em>."</p>
<p>And, because she’s Alexis, she’s right. He nearly makes it to Niagara Falls without issue, but then the train is hijacked.</p>
<p>"All passengers must give up their most prized card if you all want to live!"</p>
<p>Of <em>course</em>.</p>
<p>He shoots a "brb" to Aster, who's in a completely different time zone right now, so he hopes he can get this over with fast enough to say a good night.</p>
<p>It takes him half an hour, and the duel only took so long because he was on top of a moving train and was worried about his cards flying off into the wind. It was a close call with Card Ejector and she was still annoyed about it.</p>
<p>He calls Aster while the train staff corral everyone off the train to wait for the authorities.</p>
<p>"Jay, what the fuck," Aster croaks at him, tired but amused. "Do you ever take a break?"</p>
<p>"You're literally the last person who can say that to me," he says. "You've been in three different countries in the past <em>two</em> days."</p>
<p>"I'm a busy man." Aster sounds muffled as he moves what sounds like a blanket. "Emeralda's already doing me a favour by pushing things ahead so I can have free time with you. Can't complain about it."</p>
<p>Oh. He shifts, leaning against the train. "Dude, if you're too busy—"</p>
<p>"I'm not," Aster interrupts.</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, Jay. Really."</p>
<p>“That’s—good. That’s good.”</p>
<p>“It is.”</p>
<p>He's been keeping busy the whole two weeks, holding a tight rein on his thoughts. But now, in the night air, settled on the train tracks, with Aster's soft breathing in his ear, he can't stop himself from thinking:</p>
<p><em>I miss you</em>.</p>
<p>It’s weird, it’s so weird. How can you miss someone you message and call almost every day? He wants to ask Aster if he feels the same way, if the same confusing feelings keep him awake at night, if there’s a longing in his chest that doesn’t make sense at all. He wants to ask, <em>do you miss me as much as I miss you?</em></p>
<p>There's too much to voice, his tongue is heavy with it. So, he changes the subject. Tilts his phone so he can snap a selfie. As it's loading, he says, "Look at my hair, I'm never dueling on a train again."</p>
<p>There's a sleepy laugh and he's grateful for Aster not pushing him on—whatever it is that's going on. Or maybe he hasn't noticed at all.</p>
<p>Maybe he’s the only one thinking weird thoughts.</p>
<p>"You look like you have a Kuriboh on your head."</p>
<p>"Shut up," he bemoans.</p>
<p>"It's cute," is sighed into the phone and he swallows. Aster continues, "I have my flight to catch in a couple of hours, so I'm going to try to sleep."</p>
<p>"You were in Ireland for, like, five minutes."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but—" there's a yawn "—I'm seeing this dork in Canada tomorrow."</p>
<p>He can't help his grin. Can't help his hands shaking. "Yeah?"</p>
<p>"Mhm."</p>
<p>It's quiet for a time before he realizes the breathing on the other end is too rhythmic to be anything but sleep. He tilts his head back to press it against the cool metal of the train.</p>
<p>"Night Aster," he whispers.</p>
<p>Long after he hangs up, he stays lost in thought.</p><hr/>
<p>Niagara Falls is gorgeous. The waterfalls are loud and big and powerful; just watching makes his heart feel free. </p>
<p>More than that, the amount of duel energy in the area is insane. It sweeps around him, makes his body tingle to his fingertips. It feels like he could run a marathon and not break a sweat. </p>
<p>It reminds him of Duel Academy.</p>
<p>It reminds him of home.</p>
<p>He looks out toward the beautiful water, can see unattached Duel Spirits swimming joyfully. Aquos gives him a look and he gives him a thumbs up to go dive and have fun. </p>
<p>It’s absolutely one of the most magical places he’s ever been to. He wishes he could be enjoying it more.</p>
<p>He tenses, the current up his spine making him antsy. He punches his leg. It makes him feel better.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Yubel appears beside him, looking towards the water themself. “You seem distracted.”</p>
<p>"I am.” His head jerks. They brush a hand over his hair and he leans into it. “I’m seeing Aster tomorrow,” he says softly, like they don’t know that already.</p>
<p>“You’re not usually so stressed before seeing your friends,” they say. They tilt their head. “What’s different?”</p>
<p>“Nothing,” he says thoughtlessly and they tug a piece of his hair. “Everything. I don’t know.”</p>
<p>Maybe it’s the fact that they don’t talk about the past. He thinks about Aster making jokes about dying and it feels wrong in the worst way when he has nightmares about it still, has nightmares about everyone else’s still. </p>
<p>It’s okay when Axel or Alexis or anyone else does it, because he knows where they stand. But, with Aster, he doesn’t know how to ask if he gets nightmares, too, and maybe that’s what’s different.</p>
<p>Cowardice has never been an issue for him before now.</p>
<p>“You could’ve said that,” Yubel says, reading his thoughts. “Are you worried about seeing him?”</p>
<p>“Not the seeing him part. It’s,” he lingers on the word before saying, “the talking. It’s the talking that I’m worried about.”</p>
<p>“You talk to him all the time.”</p>
<p>“You know what I mean,” he says and they frown.</p>
<p>“I do, but what I say is true, still. You talk to him all the time. Talking about the things that need to be talked about—it’s not as hard as you make it out to be.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t it?” he sighs. Hits his leg again. “He doesn’t even know about you.”</p>
<p>“Then tell him about me.”</p>
<p>“It’s hard,” he says and Yubel watches him. The understanding between them runs deep, he knows they can feel his trepidation and anxiety. Can feel his fear and self-loathing. Can feel the weight of his sins on their back. </p>
<p>“If you tell him about me, everything else will follow,” they say simply.</p>
<p><em>That's the problem</em>, he thinks.</p><hr/>
<p>He gets absolutely lost when he arrives in Toronto's Union Station. His English is decent, but there are just so many <em>signs</em>.</p>
<p>Thankfully, Banner recognizes the station from visiting for a teacher's conference, so he helps him reach street-level without much hassle. From there though, he's on his own, because everything's been renovated and shops have changed and Banner is just as confused.</p>
<p>Plus, it's <em>chilly</em>. His Slifer jacket is barely enough, so he burrows Pharaoh in his scarf so he can nap warmly in his bag. He shoots off a text to Aster, stepping out of the shade and into the sunshine.</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
i'm so lost</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
in a taxi rn, just stay where you are</p>
<p><b>Jaden:</b><br/>
failed step one</p>
<p><b>Aster:</b><br/>
guess you're lost forever then rip</p>
<p>He huffs out a laugh and leans against one of the many cement barriers lining the street. The honking of cars in rush hour traffic, the pedestrians chatting as they walk by, the city buzz that's nearly tangible underneath his skin—it's almost enough to distract him from the fact it's been seven months since he's seen Aster, and absolutely never since they’ve talked about a single trauma they’ve shared.</p>
<p>He tics, hitting his leg.</p>
<p><em>How are you feeling?</em> Yubel's voice echoes in his mind. He focuses on them, is grateful they know him well enough to know what he needs.</p>
<p><em>Pretty excited</em>, he thinks. He rolls his thumb over his texts with Aster. Can pretend his quick breathing is just from getting lost in the station for half an hour. <em>Kinda nervous</em>, he admits.</p>
<p><em>Relax</em>, they think. <em>What’s the worst that can happen?</em></p>
<p>Before he can even think of answering, and God does he have a list of answers, someone is tapping his shoulder.</p>
<p>"Sorry, I'm looking for a guy that looks just like you. Name's Jaden, wears the same red jacket even though he's not at school anymore." Aster flicks his sunglasses up onto his head and smiles. "See him around?"</p>
<p>He is absolutely, one hundred percent, not ready for Aster Phoenix in the flesh because the first thing out of his mouth is: "You're literally my favourite person."</p>
<p>Aster blinks at him and, before he can die of humiliation, he's met with Aster <em>blushing</em>.</p>
<p>"That was so lame," Aster complains, flipping his sunglasses back over his eyes like he hasn't already seen how pleased he is. "When did you become so cheesy?"</p>
<p>"I've always been cheesy," he says, and finally does something with himself and opens his arms. "Now what the hell, I didn't come all this way for no hug."</p>
<p>Aster's bright laughter is just as nice as the hug he gets. It's solid and warm, even though he feels anything but.</p>
<p><em>I missed you</em>, he thinks so fiercely that he's scared Aster can feel it through his chest and in his heartbeat. <em>I have so much I need to talk to you about.</em></p>
<p>When Aster pulls back and smiles at him, his worries melt away, leaving behind a fluttering against his rib cage and a soulmate who laughs at him for no reason at all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm @coffeelions on tumblr and, as always, thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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